I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's blow job season.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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