My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
