She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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