u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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