just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
