i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
