Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you bring me the toilet please
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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