so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
how do flat chested girls get laid?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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