Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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