Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
why does every cop we meet know your name?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
