Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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