just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
