I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
