bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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