you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
