ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
