He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
