Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize