oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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