i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
