I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
