So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
