didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
