you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
