Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
