did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
