Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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