never play flip cup with pint glasses
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
