She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize