What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
