You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
