if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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