I faked an abortion last night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize