On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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