the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
