I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
