Can i not drive my cunt home
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
