Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
