They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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