dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
