My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
