Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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