i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just cropdusted the office
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
