Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
