chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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