new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
