we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
