Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is Oprah even human
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
