at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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