Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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